I just realized that I am simultaneously the gay cousin and the vodka aunt

I’m that fantastic aunt that has four nephews and only knows the name of two of them off the top of her head.

Considering spellwork to create a “no talking” zone around the door of our apartment. Our neighbors are so unnecessarily loud. Maybe paper lips sewn together with thread.

You know those Land o’lakes butter containers

Hermes: Hey…Hey. You should save that container as a coin keeper like you usually do.
Me: Okay.
Hermes: YOU SHOULD ALSO PAINT IT. With me. And my stuff. Wings and shit. It’ll be great.
Me: You know for a fact that I’ll never get around to it.
Hermes: But I want it.
Me: But I can’t promise that to you and not follow up. *throws container in trash reluctantly*
Hermes: >/

mousenibbles:

Experiments with making heart shaped sugar cubes. I need a shallower mold!

Me: La dee da I’m scrolling down my dash and oh what’s that, one of my mutuals posted a picture-
Brain:
Me:
Brain: GAAAAAAY YOU ARE GAY
Me: *shuts laptop*

I have come to the realization that everyone who knows me has used the same exact frustrated inflection of ~TEeehss~

Help: Hostess gifts?

I’m spending the thanksgiving break with The Boy’s family, and need hostess gift ideas, but all the internet is giving me is cheesy stuff. So far, filtering through that, I’ve come up with a few things:

An incredible apple pie I have the recipe for
Oven mitts?
Tea cup candles?
Wine?
Ginger lemon syrup?
Needlepoint?
Citrus or vanilla extract?
Something out of clay?
Something using gold leaf?
Sugar hearts?
Homemade marshmallows?
Beeswax candles?

Any suggestions? Its longer than a week, so I’d really like to show my appreciation.

Submit play excerpt to magazine. Misspell excerpt in cover letter as “except”. Discover mistake after submitting. Subsequently smack head on desk.