work – The Carving Witch

So at work we have these big 35lb grain sacks, which don’t sound too heavy, but are bulky and take some effort to manuever. In an effort to save time I grab two at once, one over my shoulder and one on my hip and as I’m coming out of the back carrying these huge kernel sacks like some buff Demeter, my eyes lock with this other manager, Todd’s – and I saw fear fill his eyes and it fed me

The most used phrase that I say in my head at work lately is “You can miss me with that shit”

And there’s a reason for that

Co-worker: Is the framing manager in?
Me: The framing manager cannot be “in”, for she does not exist on this plane, but on a higher dimension accessable only through the void. She is the one, the Omni, the all seeing eye endless and indestructible
Me: She’s in the office.

So my new job is exhausting and I hate it 🙂

omg I forgot- some girl called the store today and I
couldn’t fucking hear what the hell she wanted because it sounded like
“turtle” so she finally gave the phone to her mom and it turns out they
were literally looking for a live turtle and I was like “well fuk dude I
dunno this is a craft store” and she swore at me and hung up

One of my male coworkers [who I hold authority over] told me today that I’m salty.

That’s right. I’m a cold, salty bitch, and don’t you fucking forget it.

So I’m currently at work with a cold that’s had me delirious and possibly hallucinating at times over the last few days- and we have the cutest collection coming in that reminds me of fae and hobbits and yesterday apparently I was putting stuff away in that section when I started giggling for no reason, and when I was asked why I just said “How awesome do you think it would be to marry a hobbit??” and continued laughing

You know that embarrassment when you have and tell hi to someone you know and you get closer and it wasn’t that person?

I just did that except it was a dog

So I think that went well….? I shadowed one person and interviewed with three others and I think I did well…. apparently I’ll hear tonight or tomorrow.

I have a second job interview tomorrow that will last from 1 until 5 and possibly later. Like…literally, this is going to be grueling.