It’s Artemis. I love her, I really do- but I feel like she’s fading out of my life. She has been for a while, and I don’t think I’ve tried hard enough to stop her. I keep thinking I used to feel such a strong connection, ever since I was a very little girl, and wondering where that’s went- and then I realized, it was because I was a young girl. I’ve always been wild at heart, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve been…domesticated. I’m no longer a dirty, barefoot teenager with brambles in her hair eating apples right off the tree. I still belong to myself, but now I also belong to another, and I’ve begun to settle into my adult responsibilities.
Maybe Artemis will come back when I need her most; when I’m alone and feral and hungry, and I’ll run and hunt and devour with her again when I most need to abandon my senses. But until then…I dunno. No other can truly take the place she’s been, but there are others coming into my life. I pray to Hermes most frequently now, and Dionysus has been in the back of my head for a while. I have a lovely chocolate colored peacock feather that I’ve been meaning to offer Hera- I mean, maybe at this stage of my life it’s Hera that I should be looking to as my Lady. I’ve been thinking about someday settling down and having kids and getting tenure and a permanent house, like a proper adult…And I’m kind of sad that I feel like I’m losing Artemis, but…maybe that’s just the way it is, getting older. I’ll always want to be one of her nymphs, hunting and dancing, but maybe I’ve already played the bear and I’m being made to move on.