Tag: tbd

I’ve got to turn off this stupid “translator” in my head. When people say one thing, I often hear another thing. Like when my professor suggested I hide my small pieces throughout the gallery for our next show, I heard “I don’t like your work but I have to include you so let’s literally hide your shit”

That is 100% probably not what he was saying, and this kind of stuff makes me constantly beat myself up when I hear it, but I can’t seem to turn it off. I think my fundamental mistrust of people means I think they’re lying to me or trying not to hurt my feeling because they think setting negative about me.

Thoughts during tea

  • I need more chai latte mix. This stuff is delicious
  • I want to get a giant dog to keep me company, but it’d be hard to find residencies that accept dogs. Basically I’m deathly lonely already so I really want something to love/love me, and there’s this Huge fluffy golden retriever named Bodie that’s around campus and he LOVES ME SO MUCH. But residencies…a nomadic lifestyle isn’t easy with pets. Maybe I should just start walking people’s dogs. Or when I’ve gotten a car I can volunteer at a shelter.
  • You know how sometimes you can have stress dreams about being at work? I’m having dreams about loading kilns and you know what, I’m not even mad. This is what I do, man. It’s what I’ve fought for and dreamed about and I’m in a weird place with it right now, but if I made it this far….
  • I’ve been pretty distracted and unsatisfied about how much I’m able to get done, so I’ve decided to start keeping a list of the things that I have accomplished that day to both motivate myself and be like “yeah look you did stuff today you weren’t totally useless”
  • I’m quitting smoking for a little while, and it’s made me forget about food and be slightly grumpy/it’s hard to fall asleep. I’m an adult though, I’ll make it through. I’m still allowing myself my vape, but it’s not the same, you know?
  • I ordered shelving for my studio and I might get some plants. I also have a camp cot and some bed stuff coming, so I can take naps in the studio. I’ve got pieces and shit all over the floor and reference pictures and glaze recipes all over the walls, but It’ll be homey in short order
  • I want to get a tattoo, but I know that it would upset my boyfriend, and I don’t need to be dropping money on something that stupid. Plus, I wanted to get one with my best friend and I’m not going to see her until she gets married next year
  • I haven’t seen my best friend since literally undergrad?? That’s like…three years?? @late-nite-milkncookies We haven’t seen eachother in three years?? is that even right???

thecarvingwitch:

I AM DRUNK AND FACINF A DILEMMA MY FRIENDS. IT IS ALMOST 11PM AND FOR THE SWOND NIFHT IN THE ROW THE POWER HAS GONE OFF. BUT ONLY IN MY BEDRPOM
SO I HAVE CANDLES AND MANY FLAMMABLES BUT I AM STILL ANNOYED

HOW I FIX???

I flipped the fuses twice during the night and once in the morning- my dad says I have too many things plugged in in my room, but all I have are my phone charger, my laptop, and my heated blanket plugged into the same surge protector. So drunk me does know the basics of house electrics, but it’s still a mystery.

Too chilly this time of year to be sleeping without that blanket turned on though, lemme tell you.