I’ve officially sold my futon and am sleeping on the couch till we leave on the 6th. It’s gonna be a long week of waking up at seven am to incredibly loud, high pitched: “WHOS THE BABY YoUrE THE BaBy” from my mother on video chat with my neice

Thanks, I hate it

Me, reading my own artist’s statement

It’s weird how easily you fall back into retail. It’s like putting on party clown makeup. Look deliriously happy even when old people are describing their India based rotary phone IRS scams to you as an explanation as to why they don’t want to sign up for the rewards program(?), wait til breaks to pee and take your pain medicine, saw “awesome” a lot, try not to set anything on fire.

UGH this is so fucking complicated. The Boy is Catholic. I am a pagan. However, I was baptized Episcopalian(?), so am I still considered part of the church, and therefore if we got married it would be considered sacramental? Or because I am currently a polytheist, it would be a marriage with disparity of cult?

Supposedly, if we go through some sort of rigorous testing process and get permission from the local bishop, a marriage would be valid in the eyes of the church without me having to convert, but it would be considered non sacramental. Basically we’d be allowed but God, Jesus, and the pope would frown upon us for the rest of our lives. And the intricate policies of the church aside, he’s from one of those huge, extended, very religious catholic families. Would he be able to stand in front of his family with a non-Christian wife without rebuke? I doubt it.

Like, it won’t likely happen for years, but that’s my end game, and I’m literally so fucked up thinking about the future right now, especially when I know I can’t count on anything. My lungs feel like a balloon waiting to pop

I had a literal nightmare last night about my senior show

Painting the pedestals in prep for my senior show

Me: I’ll paint each pedestal in turn and then wait for them to dry instead of finding two two by fours for each one. It might take longer but the paint should dry in about ten minutes each, right?

Pedestals:

I’m considering hand poking myself a tattoo somewhere not many people will see and not telling anyone so they’re like “._.” and then “D:” when they find out

Except I can’t decide what it should be and it needs to happen today

Me: I’m going to buck up and do my taxes!
Turbotax: You have fucked up
Me: I have fucked up

ABORT ABORT

I’m in the middle of my taxes and I’m pretty happy because my refund is enormous compared to other years- and I put in how much of my scholarships went to room and board and all the sudden the whole thing explodes and now I owe the government almost a grand. I call my parents in a panic.

Apparently something went wrong and it thinks that I pocketed the rest of my scholarship money

I fucked up *presses the back button a million times*

The Boy’s little sister is staying over two nights and she’s in his room playing videogames and I walked in and the room was a bit cold so I tried to creep out into the living room, but he pleasantly insisted that I come back and I’m not only just like how do I person, but it feels like she’s this tiny spy for his parents because trust no one