keepyourhandsbusy:

hyena-butts:

everybodyilovedies:

thepioden:

roachpatrol:

joshnewberry:

people who complain about dinosaurs “not being scary anymore” because its been discovered they have feathers and are closely related to/ancestors of birds are so bizarre like

  • its not about how scary they are, they are/were real life animals and what matters is learning more about them, not how well they fit into your science fiction horror film lol
  • can you imagine a 13 foot chicken running at you with full intent to eat you??? thats fucking terrifying holy shit

peacocks are synonymous with vain, frivolous beauty and they will attack cars. they will attack you while you try to get to your car. they’re like six feet of useless feathers and they will destroy you. imagine if they were carnivorous and had functional spurs. 

a t-rex could look like a gay disco ball and i guarantee that you would fucking book it if it had a problem with you

listen

listen

have you ever met a swan

if anything the birdier they get the scarier they are

Australia literally fought a war against giant birds AND FUCKING LOST

@kidwithheadphones

Overheard in the student lounge:

“Oh man, I can’t deal with birds ‘cause they’re dinosaurs and sometimes it’s like they get this glint in their eyes and they remember.”

“Have you ever interacted with a goose? ‘Cause those things are dicks.”

prancingtrashcan:

cynicowl:

randomdaisy:

limbovulture:

@randomdaisy dear herbologist what the fok is this corn dog plant

OH MY GOODNESS I SAW THIS ON TWITTER AND I WAS LIKE “OH NO…. DUDE… DUDE NO”

this plant is, in fact, a cattail (Typha genus, probably either Typha latifolia or Typha angustifolia). what’s ironic about this person’s encounter is that almost every single part of the cattail is edible– the rhizomes are starchy and, although tough, can be made into a nutritious flour; the stems can be peeled and used like asparagus; the pollen can be gathered and used to extend or supplement flour; and even the green flower spikes can be boiled and eaten like corn-on-the-cob, so this person sort of had the right idea.

the thing is, what this person has in their photo is a BROWN flower spike, meaning that it’s starting to go to seed and is probably a tasteless mouthful of either fiber or fluff. regardless of whether the post is a joke or serious, out of all the edible parts of the cattail, op managed to pick one of the ONLY parts of the plant that isn’t. and i still can’t get over that.

As a side note, rubbing that part of the plant makes an absolutely ridiculous amount of fluff come out (which is how it disperses the seeds). I highly recommend it but it’s probably best to do that when no one else is around

image

are you saying i can jack off this plant and it will nut