My roommate is in the kitchen with her boyfriend playing this game that smacks you in the face with whipped cream which looks fun for about three seconds, but they’ve been at it for an hour so I’m thinking my website building in the living room my be interrupting some sexual tension

Arts grant committees be like

You must send in your application on the third full moon of the lunar year, while balancing an egg on your head and skipping rope

Your application must consist of: the bone of a cow (but we won’t tell you which), thirty examples of your best work (even though this grant is for emerging artists who have been working under three years), the Russian nuclear bomb codes, and the key to a city in North Dakota

Also the grant is $3 and it’s a loan

Two years in a row I get roommates who chew with their mouths open.

Why

I’m quitting diet coke

I apologize to everyone I will probably be cranky with for the next few weeks because I’m not getting my regularly scheduled caffeine

Guys, I’m like, adorable

thecarvingwitch:

We did bottle cap jewelry in class yesterday, so guess what I made for Aphrodite and Hermes?

I’m going to be late for class but there is a free bagel line outside the library so I don’t care

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS. I HAD THE BEST DREAM LAST NIGHT

Mark Hamill was my uncle and he was like, the cool uncle. But like, not cool in a “your felon uncle who rides a motorcycle” way, like in a cool supportive uncle way.

I made this chard very poorly and now it’s gross, but I don’t want to waste food.

Maybe it was bok choy that I was craving instead?

Stressed?

EAT A WHOLE HEAD OF SWISS CHARD