typos

Him: Let me know you’re free.
Me: THIS IS AMERICA.
Me: Of course I’m not free.
Him: *when you’re free

The trick to saving money

I’m going to start carrying around a photo of my parents in my wallet…So every time I’m going to be tempted to buy the goddamn carob powder so I can eat brownies or art supplies that I can do without or what the fuck ever, instead I can pull that photo out and look at it and remind myself…

If I do not save up my money I am never going to be able to afford to get the fuck away from these fucking assholes.

I’d kill a man for hot wings and chocolate cake right now

@coaleyed It’s kind of like “You have no reason to distrust me, but it feels weird that you’d put me on charge of so much money every day because basically I’m internally still a teenager pretending to be a responsible adult but I’m not going to say that because I have bills to pay?” Lol

TIL

That I’m not an assistant manager, I’m an actual manager. Which. Is scary and cool all at once but mostly just weird?

I met a very pretty doggie named Olive today and if I wasn’t at work I would have hugged her, given her ear rubs, played fetch with her, and snuck her home in my car

WHY ARE BLANKETS SO FUCKING SMALL

SINCERELY, I AM ONLY 5 FOOT 9, JESUS CHRIST CANT YOU JUST COVER MY TOES AND MY SHOULDERS IS IT THAT HARD

Mmrrrr

I got the biggest circular needles at the store, 36inches, and I thought that would be enough, but when I opened them it definitely was not. Mehhhhhh I don’t have the energy to start this knitting project…

Nabil stop touching the baby, you’re supposed to be cashiering

My boss over the radio

Yeah, I don’t have a walkie…couldn’t find one. If you have a message leave it at 1800-idont-care

My boss over the PA system this morning before store open