I would be so much funnier if I didn’t stutter when I talked

Procrastibaking

I’m supposed to write a reflection paper and finish the statement of purpose that was due a week ago SO ON THE MENU is cheesy chicken pasta and upside down apple cake.

Decided to light that candle for Persephone. Except the essential oil I soaked the wick in made the flame HUGE and smoke like fuck

And I’m like…this is the perfect candle for her. I just can’t light it in my dorm room.

I’m planning Christmas presents in advance and

Me: *finishes making candle for a friend*
Deity:
Me:
Deity: I want it.
Me: ….Fuck?

I was talking about houses with my friend G

Me: With a garden out back AND out front, because lawnmower culture is so french and needs to die.
Her: And chickens, and maybe a goat, and a teacup pig.
Me: no. Goats are evil.
Her: Why are goats evil??
Me: BECAUSE THEY SCREAM AND EAT EVERYTHING AND SCREAM AND POOP EVERYWHERE AND SCREAM and they’re assholes
Yes, get a piggie. But like, housetrain that sucker

I’m thinking of posting more capslock spells

It’s critique day and I wake up sick

If I could get out of bed I’d go and suffer for a while till I’d gotten my feedback, but I can’t, so I’ll just complain loudly until the meds kick in.

Shows up to officiate a fish funeral veiled and wearing black lipstick

No matter what I do, I can’t get my black salt black enough- it always turns out gray..So I’m thinking of calling it Grim salt and calling it a day.

Brav little wolf and Cunning bunny