Me: With a garden out back AND out front, because lawnmower culture is so french and needs to die.
Her: And chickens, and maybe a goat, and a teacup pig.
Me: no. Goats are evil.
Her: Why are goats evil??
Me: BECAUSE THEY SCREAM AND EAT EVERYTHING AND SCREAM AND POOP EVERYWHERE AND SCREAM and they’re assholes
Yes, get a piggie. But like, housetrain that sucker