Tag: genderfluid

Name stuff

Seeing as every time I think of the guy I lived with Sophomore year, the name Jason doesn’t work for me as a masc name anymore, but it’s also the only one that clicks. So I figured something similar sounding might help, and my mom told me way back that when she was planning baby names for me, she thought if I was going to be a boy she would have named me either Oliver or Justice. And I really like that- Justice. It’s just…is that too flashy? Too flamboyant? I mean, my brother’s name us literally Courage, but I feel like I’m so femme looking that if I pick a masculine name that’s off the beaten track like that, people will accuse me of looking for attention or call me a fraud or…I dunno. Like, I have zero confidence in myself and my gender identity anyway, so I’d just crumble…..

so since I missed national coming out day

If you follow me y’all should already know that boy, girls, rainbow swirls, I’m queer af, but I’m also genderfluid.

I didn’t want to say anything on coming out day, so I missed the big shebang…I think mostly because I didn’t think it affected my life that much because I have no desire to go on hormones/transition physically [it wouldn’t make sense to go through expensive medical headaches only to adhere to a binary?]. And honestly because I’m not trans and I’ve presented as a female as expected my whole life, I don’t feel valid….which is something I’m working on.
My best friend and The Boy know. I thought about it and while it’s not visible it does affect my life, just in mental and social ways that are mostly honestly my problem, so I don’t think I’ll tell my parents. They’ll do the thing they do with their eyebrows, and then completely misunderstand the situation and be assholes about it, and then we’ll fight, and it’ll be just another thing that’s shitty between us.

so thats it. happy late coming out day. I doubt anyone will see this post, since it’s 2am here, and maybe i did that on purpose, but don’t worry about pronouns- they’re not that big a deal for me personally, and while I would answer to any set really, the feminine she/her/hers or neutral they are still ace.