The summer I was fifteen I went to girl scout camp as usual and I brought my books and my little deck of dog cards with me in my luggage (I wasn’t allowed to have Tarot). It’s the first day and being the child that I am at heart, I snagged one of the top bunks in the cabin and was sitting on my roost waiting for the call to dinner. So I decide to do a cartomancy reading and everything starts coming up spades. Like bad vibes, doom and gloom up the shit. Disappointed, I put my deck away just as they ring the bell. As I hop down, I’m thinking “what a piece of shit deck, all I get from you is bad readings”- and just as I do so, my foot lands on my own shoe, causing me to twist my ankle so badly that I cannot walk for a week.

Moral of the story: Don’t diss your deck, it’s just the messenger