polar-solstice:

Boyfriend: Where are all the chocolate chip pumpkin cookies??

Me: Oh they cooled so I put them in the cookie jar

Bf: Which one is the cookie jar?

Me: The one labeled “Deadly Nightshade”

Bf: [being snarky] oh yeah? So where’s the nightshade

Me: In the honey jar

Bf: …

Me: JK, I know you wouldn’t know, so I keep the poisons separate from the herbs