somekindofhootenanny:

theartofwingingit:

thoodleoo:

thoodleoo:

ancient greek word of the day: φαλλοβάτης, “one who ceremonially climbs atop a phallus;” hence, dick priest

actually the context of this is really good so i’m gonna tell you guys about it

it’s a word used only once, in lucian’s on the syrian goddess, section 29, to describe a ceremony involving the colossal phalloi of dionysus in syria. the ceremony goes as such:

• a chosen guy climbs on top of one of the phalloi. this is because sitting on the phallus is the best place to talk to the gods, apparently. he prays for the safety of syria
• he even uses a little harness to help him climb the phallus safely
• he has to stay on top of the phallus for 7 days, just sitting there praying
• once he’s on top of the phallus he drags up all of the stuff he needs to live for a week and gets comfy
• well not too comfy because he can’t fall asleep for this entire week
• if he accidentally falls asleep, a scorpion comes and stings him until he’s awake
• people come and leave offerings and shout their names up to this guy so he can pray for them and then blow through his trumpet
• just a guy sitting on a dick and tooting his horn for a week with no sleep

@somekindofhootenanny

Holy shhhhiiiiit how did I not see this until now?