I now have at pages upon pages of notes dealing with every “what if” and intricacy of up to 8 different plans all based on cash manipulation, rent possibilities, savings, job options, housing options, residencies, fellowships, grad school options if I get in, whether or not I can have my parents old car, and presence of partner.

I dunno…I feel…a little better after mapping it all out, but I still feel like I’m just holding my breath on a precipice, waiting