I’m leaving this stupid world to go buy a farm up in the hills of Northern Italy and grow tomatoes. Everyone reading this who is currently unhappy, you’re coming too. I have sent the private plane to collect you. We will drink wine and eat orange-scented cannoli and tell each other stories while we get our hands dirty. If you are too sad to work, I will sit you down by the big wood stove and make you taste-test spicy arrabiata and local sausages and hand-rolled ravioli until you feel better. If you are too angry to be around others I will send you up the mountains to gather milk thistle, salad burnet, dandelion, sorrel and sage. We will sing and make music and play games and carry water and sleep well every night and the stars will smile down at us from over the Alps.
That sounds beautiful…..