rootandrock:

Them: “Snakes are so MAGICAL! Mighty and powerful and fearless. What’s it like to have one?!”

Me: “One time I went to feed him and accidentally booped him with the dead rat. After that he refused to eat rats for an entire year.” 

Them:  "Your snake must be such a powerful familiar!“
Me: “No, he’s just a pet.”
Them: “Journeying through the underworld on the back of a mighty serpent!!!”
Me: “I mean… I feel like … maybe we’re not communicating effectively.”

*laughs endlessly*